Prompt: List a few phobias you have. When and how did you discover you had these fears?
While I am not a “scared” of life type of person, I am terrified of a few things.
Spiders. If you want to see me act like a little girl who is scared for her life, a spider is the quickest way to make that happen. I wasn’t always this terrified of spiders, at least that I remember. Many years ago, I think I was 21 at the time, I got bit by a spider what made my entire body hive out. I had hives on top of hives. I was one gigantic hive with several other gigantic hives on top of the hive. I had hives inside my ear canals. On my eyelids, up my nose… It was horrible. I think I had just started dating my future husband at the time. What a way to make or break your relationship, right? The doctor put me on steroids, incredibly high doses of steroids to help. It was a really awful week (or so) of my life. Since then, I have been terrified of spiders. Panic attack inducing fear of spiders. Big ones, little ones, it doesn’t matter. I’m running away, screaming like a little girl. And all of my friends know this. They may screw around with me, but not when it comes to spiders. They’ve seen the panic attacks and know that I don’t play when it comes to those creepy, weird, strange, creepy creatures.
Clowns. I am scared of clowns, yes, it’s true. Now, don’t mistake decorated masks for clowns. They are not the same. I collect decorated masks. These are not the same as creepy, disturbing grown people dressing up in grease-paint and terrorizing children. I mean, who does this, and think it can’t turn into this quickly and get out of hand. Seriously. I am so freaking creeped out with is post that I need another pot of tea to calm down. And Halloween is this week, like the day after tomorrow. I have never been so glad that my kids are teens and that they don’t Trick or Treat anymore. And yes, my friends mess with me on the whole clown thing.
If I try to think back to figure out when I became scared of clowns, I would have to say that when I was a little girl and my Mum and Dad took me to the circus, there were clowns on stilts. I was young, really young and they were so unnaturally tall ( I didn’t know about stilts then) and with the clothes and makeup looking down at me it was terrifying. I’ve been scared of them ever since. Clowns leave me unsettled. I’m seriously getting chills and my heart rate is racing having to look at these monsters on the screen…
As for the last phobia that I will admit to, I am scared to go into water that I cannot see through. I’ve not been waterskiing in probably 20 years because I won’t get in the water. It’s murky and dirty looking. There could be snakes or alligator-gars under the water or freshwater sharks or something else that I don’t want to mess with. This phobia is quite perplexing to me, as I wanted to be a marine biologist at one point in my life. I can only say that I think this one goes back to seeing “Jaws” at my friend’s house when I was like 10 (I might have been younger I don’t really know). Now, water I can see through, that’s different. I can see what’s there and where I can step what’s swimming around. When Richard and I were on our honeymoon in Cancun, we went to Xcaret, and snorkeled and floated down the river through the cave and hung out in the carved out sections on the (I think) Gulf side. That was fun and I could see what was going on. But, as I’ve gotten older, I will admit that the panic has gotten worse and I can tell you that it’s been at least 8 years since I have even put on a swimsuit.
This post has been quite traumatizing for me. I’m going to go make another pot of tea and go watch an episode of “Outlander” or do something to take me back to my happy place.
What scares you silly?