Prompt: Write about something presently in your life that is “worth it”.
Well, that’s a loaded question if I’ve ever heard one.
Here it goes; my boys are worth it. The husband and I were married 5 year before we got pregnant. I wanted to wait as I didn’t have a lot of experience with kids. I never really babysat, I was the youngest in my house and most of my cousins are around the same age as me; I have one younger cousin, by about 2 years (I think) so you can see my hesitation. Well, that and I am a selfish person. I needed to learn how to share (so to speak).
We chose to have a natural childbirth for all 3 of the boys. Oh yes, it was painful. Oh yes, I did break down and scream for drugs for the last delivery. We were still at the house though, so it didn’t count. Yes, I may have traumatized most of the Emergency Room at the hospital when I crawled up on a gurney with one of the hospital gowns on, but that’s ok. I had a beautiful baby boy in my arms afterwards that made me forget about all the pain, at least until after the first post-delivery non-contraction hit. That was awful.
From then to now, I have loved and cherished by boys so much. As they get older (my oldest is 19) and talk about moving on, moving out, what they want to be when they grow up, it saddens me and excites me at the same time. I can look at my boys and know that the husband and I have raised good boys. They are very different, very, very different. And that’s ok. I am not a “smother” Mother, but I am a bit (okay a lot) overprotective. As they have gotten older, I’ve released the reins a bit. Two of the three boys are driving, my third will start driving in 3 short months. My parents “released me” to the wild outdoors when I was 16 with my car, and I’ve tried to do the same for my boys.
The worrisome nights waiting for them to get home from being out with their friends, the late nights waiting up for them to get home from work. It’s part of them growing up. And it sucks to see your boys taking steps each day that make them more independent and not need you as much, but it’s worth it to see them make amazing decisions for themselves. It’s worth it to know that you have raised them right and that they are helpful and give themselves to help others when they need it.
It’s worth all the pain, the heartbreak, the fear, sadness, anxiety, joy, stress, disappointment, elation, respect, fun, pride, and most of all the love to see them growing into amazing young men who will be amazing leaders in their lives.
I’ve been listening to Kate Bush lately. I’ve been a fan of hers since “Running up that Hill” was released in the States back in 1987 (or was is 1988). She has a song called “the Morning Fog” that comes to mind when I’ve been typing this entry. It’s a beautiful song about love. There isn’t an “official” video for it, but this YouTuber does an amazing job. Check it out here.