Prompt: Name one thing you have lied to yourself about.  Why did you do this?

How did we go from making a math formula for yourself to something that is from a therapy session?  Geez!  And I’m only on the 8th prompt?  I wonder what the other 292 are….  I’m not skipping ahead, I’m not looking ahead.  I’m doing this page at a time.

What have I lied to myself about?  Well, I’m, ahem, over 40 (cough, cough), and, as my middle child puts it, I have more issues than Vogue, so I’m sure that I can find a (mild) story to share with you.

When I was 20, I was driving home to my parents house from my first apartment to do laundry.  It was dark, but I don’t remember what time it was.  I was speeding.  I had (have) a bit of a lead foot back then. Suddenly there was this white flash before me, then a “thud” sound on the right front side of the car.  I pulled over on the shoulder to see what happened.  I hit a rabbit.  I killed Peter Rabbit.  He (I don’t know if it was a boy or a girl) was this cute cotton-tail rabbit that was just trying to get home to his kids.  You know, it was late out and he had a hard day at work doing whatever he does.  It’s not like he had a backpack with him that had sprung open saying that he was a lawyer, or a doctor, or a hairdresser (I was close to a hair salon).  You know maybe he was in a hurry to get home to a sick child and give the wife a break. I mean, it’s hard to care for a sick child.  I didn’t know what to do.  I didn’t know this rabbit.  I didn’t know if he was sick,  or bloody, or rabid.  I proceeded to vomit, start to cry and prayed to God to accept him into Bunny Heaven since it was my sin that killed him.  I then asked God for forgiveness and promised not to speed ever again (sadly, that’s another lie since I was unable to keep it as a truth).  I collected myself as best as I could, got back in my car and headed to my Mom and Dad’s house.  Since this horrible accident, anytime I see an animal on the side of the road, I will close my eyes (very briefly if I am driving) and say a quick prayer for them.  It’s silly, I know, but it helps me to feel like I am atoning for killing Peter Rabbit 20-some-odd years ago.

There have been many. many other things that I have lied to myself about. But I don’t really think we want to get into all of that.  So I’ll leave you with that one story and we’ll move on.